I take a walk every morning in my neighborhood. About a year ago, I noticed that a neighbor I had not met started to sit on the bench in front of her house every morning.
I would wave as I walked by and say good morning.
Then one day I saw her walking very slowly and unsteadily toward the community pool where she went to swim laps.
She did this every day, and we would continue to wave and smile.
Then one day we stopped to talk and she told me what had been going on.
She was a traveling nurse, who all of a sudden passed out at work. It turns out she had an undetected brain tumor. She had surgery, and then had been slowly learning to talk and walk again. We spent an hour in deep conversation and I was astounded at her strength and perspective.
She went through one of the most traumatic experiences one can have, yet she was optimistic, and determined to recover and make the most of the experience.
We are now starting to meet together to find the best way for her to share her story with others.
Living through such unexpected calamity and maintaining courage and optimism takes a huge amount of self trust. So how do you do it?
How do you trust yourself to make it through hard times?
As much as we want to, we cannot control the majority of things that impact our lives.
Whether it is the cost of gas, slow sales cycles, an unexpected health issue, political mayhem or the deconstruction of your sector due to AI, we are in a perpetual state of needing to readjust, reimagine and redirect our efforts.
This shit can get tiring.
You might have whispered to yourself at 3am when you wake up and can’t get back to sleep “Can I really do this again?”
It is hard to restart. But if we want to get through to the other side, we need to develop strategies and practices to reinforce the trust we have with ourselves. Here are some of my favorites.
1. Clear the cache
We have all woulda/shoulda/coulda’d ourselves for decisions we made that might have contributed to our current situation.
“If only I had saved more money!”
“I never should have taken on that client!”
“I should have held on to the rail when going down the stairs!”
If I could wave a wand and turn back time for you, I would. But I can’t. There is nothing you can do to change the past, so you need to do a hard “clear cache” and clear out the regret, shame and anger from past decisions.
You may want to hit a pillow and scream loudly. Or write down a bitter letter of regret, then light it on fire and watch it burn. Maybe you could rage hike to the top of a hill and sweat out your anger.
By any means necessary, clear space for what’s coming.
2. Name the new mission
Now that you have taken a deep breath and feel more calm, now you must name your new mission very clearly.
Like: “I need to make $20k in the next 30 days.”
Be careful not to let loaded words or sneaky thoughts coat the clarity of your mission.
Like: “(Goddamnit!) I need to make $20k in the next 30 days (Again!! Which I would not have to do if that prospect would have just chosen me!!!).
Let that clear mission breathe so you can find creative ways to make it happen.
3. Set (or remember) your purpose
The purpose behind your mission will unlock the energy and focus necessary to get it done.
Answer the question: “When I accomplish this mission, what will happen?”
Like: “When I secure the $20k, I will be able to easily pay my obligations for the next 60 days. This will ease my worry and allow me to finish my strategic project that will generate enough money to visit my sister this summer.”
Few people operate well with an endless set of obligations and pressure. Remind yourself why this will make your life better, easier or more meaningful and it won’t feel so heavy.
4. Create a 7 day plan. Then repeat.
The more stressful a situation is, the more long-term plans will stress you out. Start focusing on the immediate things you can do to take action, then as you gain momentum, push out your planning horizon.
As Anne Lamott famously said, “Bird by Bird.”
One thing that AI tools are really good at is breaking down a bigger task into an actionable plan. I asked Claude what a good prompt would be for this and here is what I got back:
“You are a calm, grounded coach. Help me break my 7-day goal into clear, actionable steps.
Ask me these questions one at a time, waiting for my answer before moving on:
- What’s the goal you want to accomplish in the next 7 days?
- What feels unclear or hard about it right now?
- What resources, tools, or support do you already have?
- How much time can you realistically give this each day?
Once I’ve answered everything, reflect back what you heard in 1–2 sentences. Then build a 7-day action plan organized by day or in two phases:
- Days 1–3: Foundation — the essential first moves to get traction
- Days 4–6: Execution — the core work that drives the goal forward
- Day 7: Complete, review, and close the loop
Give 2–3 specific actions per phase. Keep them concrete and sized for real life. End with one sentence that speaks directly to what I said feels hard or unclear.”
Action: Tell Claude your challenge like “I need to make $20k in the next 30 days. Use this prompt to make a 7 day plan to kickstart this project. Then copy and paste the above prompt and generate the response.
5. Assemble your crew
I don’t know if there is anything we can do these days that does not require the support and encouragement of other people.
Especially if you are feeling tired, you need to ensure that you have reinforcements who will remind you that you are capable of hard things.
Sometimes your crew can hold the answer to your problem.
Like: “Hey Jim — do you happen to have $20k laying around?”
Reach out to the specific people who you know will be willing and able to help you.
Like: “Hi Angela, Josh, Darron and Desiree: I need to make $20k in the next 30 days and it feels a bit overwhelming. Can you support me to reach this goal?”
You can ask for different things from different people. For example:
Angela: Send you a daily motivational quote.
Josh: Remind you to “lock in” when you get frustrated.
Darron: Review your outreach emails and give feedback.
Desiree: Brainstorm ideas for generating the cash.
Be very deliberate about who you ask. Encouraging and responsive people only.
6. Give gratitude
It is critically important that you express gratitude for the smallest things as you work your plan. They don’t all have to be related to your plan.
Like: “I am so grateful for the light rain this morning!”
Like: “I am so thankful that Jim responded right back to my text!”
Like: “I am encouraged that while my client said no to extending the engagement right now, they are interested in working together next quarter!”
Science backs up the power of gratitude.
You are not alone in rebounding and writing a new story.
Each step you take gets you closer to a new future.
Keep going!
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