How To Set And Reach Your Biggest Goals with Hugo Vasquez

“I was always running from fear or fighting fear or hiding from fear. But then when I started confronting fear, I realized that fear is actually there, as my friend, fear is there to help me, because it’s there to tell me, first of all, what could kill me, right? Fear was there for survival.” – Hugo Vasquez

In this episode of The Widest Net Podcast, Pam is joined by Hugo Vasquez, the founder of Team 212 and a business career coach, who possesses an extraordinary talent for bridging the gap between aspirational goals and attainable results. His unwavering belief in the potential to achieve the impossible inspires entrepreneurs to navigate the delicate balance between personal aspirations and professional ambitions. 

Offering a distinctive blend of practical strategies and empowering mindset guidance, Hugo equips individuals with the tools needed to conquer their most ambitious objectives. Drawing from his own compelling journey, Hugo’s insights and expertise in goal-setting provide invaluable support for those striving for personal and professional growth.

 

Here are the Show Notes.

Here’s the transcript:

00:00:06
            

Welcome to another episode of The Widest Net Podcast. I’m your host, Pamela Slim, and I am joined today by my guest, Hugo Vasquez. As a business career coach and founder of Team 212, Hugo Vasquez has a gift for making the unattainable feel within reach. He believes in the power of the impossible.        

00:00:28
            

Entrepreneurs seeking to balance their personal lives while realizing their business dreams go to him for their unique blend of actionable tactics and empowering mindset guidance. If you’ve got a big goal, Hugo and his team have the personal tested tools to help you achieve it. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you for having me, Pam. And, you know, this is maybe the first time I’ve ever heard you say my name, Hugo instead of Hugo.        

00:00:55
            

And it’s actually funny because only my family and you call me Hugo, and, oh, no, actually, interesting. I take that back. Some people try, they’ll call me Hugo, and I answer to that, but only my family and you I feel comfortable and really connected with when you use that term. Isn’t that so interesting? And, you know, it’s funny, I sometimes make an editorial change.        

00:01:20
            

It’s sort of an interesting intersectional moment because we’ve had so many conversations before. No, just for listeners. Hugo and I have known each other for a really long time. I happen to speak Spanish. I lived in Mexico and Colombia.        

00:01:33
            

And it can be sometimes a little like, presumptuous sort of white woman being all like, ooh, look at my Spanish, you know, when talking about names. So it’s interesting, sometimes I can make different choices. You know, usually that’s the preference of, like, how somebody likes their name described. But I appreciate, like, that you brought that up, because it is to me, like, an important part of the relationship where I can call you that in where it feels to you, like a family connection. Right.        

00:02:03
            

And not something that is not the way you would normally, you know, say your name in the flow of the English speaking world. Yeah, well, I mean, to me, it really, it’s a big deal, too, because I always, people, I always ask people, like, how do I say your name? And then I try to pronounce it the way they say it. And for me, like, our relationship specifically, like I said, my family calls me Ugo because that was just, you know, that’s how I was always referred to. And when you called me that the first time, I do think, like, the first instinct was, wait a minute, am I okay with this?        

00:02:38
            

And then, and then I sat with it and I said, I don’t know, let me think about it. And then I realized I am okay with it. But it was a cool way to have me question my relationships because it really made me realize that I’ve learned so much from you, and I see you as a mentor, but more than just a mentor, as a mother figure. You know? I don’t know if that’s okay for me to say that, but that’s how I see you.        

00:03:03
            

Yeah, totally. I mean, and it’s such a beautiful example when I think about the kind of relationships that we have in our life and in our world. I don’t know if you saw the other day I posted on LinkedIn, there’s a term for a lot of really beloved folks in my life, many of whom I’ve worked with, that call me Auntie Pam. It’s just something that’s like an inside scoop, like, when they’re texting me or talking to each other about me. And it’s an example for me where I can feel awkward.        

00:03:31
            

I don’t feel awkward that they call me that. It’s a huge, beautiful thing because I often have that, like, familial connection with people. But I love how, like, right off the bat, we’re talking about some of these examples of what is it when you might have, like, your own, like, internal language you use with friends and family, and then what’s the way that we’re showing up on the outside. Right? On one hand, I was like, ooh, people might think I’m this weirdo, like, cult leader, you know, for people calling me Aunt Pam, because you want to be thoughtful about how it is that you talk about, like, family connections.        

00:04:02
            

And sometimes we can have, like, deep, personal conversations that can be a little bit different when you bring them out forward. So it’s for me as a human being, and I think the way that I want to be, especially the older that I get, I love being able to talk openly about love, about, like, truly loving and caring about people. Like, I know I care about you. And because. Right.        

00:04:25
            

You happen to be, like, you technically could be my son if I ended up having you, like, you know, at an early age. But it’s just kind of a cool… I think it’s a cool point of connection that, in some ways, can bring us into some of your backstory, because we’re talking today about the core of your work, which is about goal setting and really helping, like, entrepreneurs in particular, reach big goals. I remember the first time that you sat down with me here at K’é Community Lab, and you really told, like, the story of your own journey that made me understand it a little bit deeper that I think is related to this conversation we have. Right.        

00:05:02
            

Of kind of growing up in different worlds with different languages. So how do you want to bring us into why it is that you’re so passionate about goal setting and your own personal journey to get here? Yeah, it actually does have everything to do with my journey because I started. I started my, I mean, like, the real beginning of my journey when you think about the hero’s journey, my first day of kindergarten, because before that, my life was actually pretty easy. And, you know, I was kind of coddled.        

00:05:38
            

My grandma, she took care of me and she didn’t let anybody mess with me. And, you know, sometimes my uncles tried to, like, mess with me a little bit, like, tease me and she would step in and they tried warning me before, like, hey, things aren’t going to be like this when you get to school. Like, there’s rules that you have to follow and you have to do what people say. And it. It actually did kind of scare me.        

00:06:01
            

And the first day of kindergarten, I walked in and it hit me right when I saw everybody. Nobody looked like me at all. Like, I walked into the classroom and I felt so alone. And then my teacher started speaking and I didn’t understand anything she said because I didn’t speak English, so that made me feel even more alone. And I just broke down crying, but.        

00:06:29
            

And then I remember just crying and feeling like, nobody’s here that I know. And I’m just, what do I do? And my teacher gave me this big hug, and it was kind of like this connection where I didn’t understand anything she said, but I knew she was there to help me. And that was really powerful because, you know, maybe that’s why I look to you for a lot, for advice, because maybe you, in a way, there’s a connection there because I felt like I had a guide with me, you know, in that classroom that no matter what, was going to be there to support me. And, you know, just to kind of, there’s a lot between there and where I’m going to get to, but to kind of fast forward, that’s something that I think is super important for us to have when we’re going into unfamiliar territory or getting out of our comfort zone is a guide that’s there to support you and, or multiple guides, people that are there when you’re in this unfamiliar place that can say, hey, I got you.        

00:07:30
            

Even if they don’t speak your language, I got you. You feel it? So, yeah, I mean, I just paused for a second there. I want to tell you more of my story, but I just wanted to you hit on that point that’s so powerful. And just thinking of what that’s like, it reminds me, there’s a friend of Angie’s who started preschool in exactly the same situation.        

00:07:49
            

I remember showing up one day in preschool, and the preschool teachers where Angie went is a Montessori school here in Mesa, and they didn’t speak any Spanish. And he was sitting there. He was, I think, three years old at that time, and his parents had left already. And so he was sitting there just crying and crying and crying, and nobody could really connect. So I remember going up and, like, speaking.        

00:08:06
            

Speaking a little bit of Spanish with him at that moment, just to. I knew him, I knew his parents, and so I had a little bit of a connection. But just, like, noticing that, like, look on his face, that’s immediately, as soon as you said that, it, like, brought me back to that time. And then now he’s. And he’s gone all the way through school with Angie, so now they’re great buddies and.        

00:08:26
            

Right. He ended up learning the language and navigating through, as you said, with his teachers of learning a language, but of, like, it’s scary enough for kids to be starting kindergarten in general, where some of them have that, like, really scary thing of leaving the nest, but to imagine doing it where you don’t understand the language around you initially could be really terrifying. Yeah. Yeah. But it also reaffirmed that, well, my uncle, like, the warnings they gave me.        

00:08:53
            

Right. Like, okay, so it also made me kind of very vigilant when people said, hey, be careful with this. And it kept me very afraid throughout most of my school and even career. I was terrified I would go into situations because I didn’t speak the language and because I moved around a lot into different schools. I struggled in school, and I had D’s and F’s all the way through my senior year of high school. I remember my senior year of high school, my teacher, my counselor, sat me down and said, you have to pass every class in order to graduate.        

00:09:34
            

If you don’t pass every class, you will not graduate. And on top of that, you have to take, like, extra. Because I failed classes all through high school, almost like, you know, like, it was, you know, a natural thing to do. Like, oh, I failed that class. Oh, well.        

00:09:48
            

So by the end of my senior year, I had to take extra classes to make up for it, just to graduate, just to get the minimum credits. And I was so scared again, like, kind of that, that counselor was kind of like my uncle’s warning me, like, hey, if you don’t buckle up, you’re gonna. You’re going to fail this. And, you know, like, I grew up in, in places where most of the people around me failed. And I saw where it went.        

00:10:10
            

Like, I saw the end path to that, and I did not want that. And I also didn’t want my grandma to find out that I was not going to pass or graduate high school. So I really doubled down on my education and really, like, educating myself and taking responsibility for my own education, and I felt terrified. I remember my first day of high school when I said, okay, I’m going to pass every class this year. I made this commitment to myself.        

00:10:37
            

The first class, which is my. It was before school class, it was called an hour. I walk in, and it’s my English teacher from my freshman year of high school, the English teacher who failed me. She failed me. But not only that, I remember asking her, is this an honors class?        

00:10:57
            

On my first day when she gave us all the assignments. And she said, no, this is just a regular English class. So it was kind of like this. She was my entry into high school my first year. And then my senior year, she was like, another, like, there again, my teacher with this English class, and I struggled with English.        

00:11:15
            

And then she assigned this book called Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Viktor Frankl. Yeah, yeah. And I. Up until that point, I’d never read a book cover to cover.        

00:11:28
            

I tried. I’d read through books, but that was the first book that was so compelling and connected with me so deeply that it kept me going. And I read that book. I read that book. I got an A in that assignment.        

00:11:46
            

And then the next book she assigned was a free read. You could pick your own book. And I remember thinking, hey, I read that book. I can pick another book. I can do this again.        

00:11:56
            

Cool. And she says, pick any book you want. So I’m thinking, and at the time, The Green Mile. I had just seen the movie The Green Mile, and I was thinking to myself, if I pick a book and I. And I end up not being able to read it, at least I can watch the movie and do the report and pass my class.        

00:12:14
            

So I pick that book, and then I go to the library to check it out, and it was like 900 pages. Like, I just barely got through my first cover to cover book, but this was 900 pages. And I remember carrying it everywhere I went with me and everywhere. Any chance I had, I’d stop and I’d read it, and then I’d carry it and read it. And it was kind of like my.        

00:12:39
            

My task, right. The thing that I had to do in order to know what I was capable of because I didn’t end up reading that book, and I ended up giving a book, a book report, and I got an A. And. And then throughout the rest of the year, throughout the rest of the school year, I then continued that same habit of like, okay, I’m just going to do it because I have to do it. And then I graduated with straight A’s that senior, my senior year of high school.        

00:13:05
            

So it was just dang doing it. So what I have. As soon as you said, like, that fear was something driving all the way through high school, through school, in addition to also, well into time that you were working, was that still, was there anything different about that experience for you? Was it still primarily fear of, like, not graduating, or was there anything that you also saw that allowed you to get those straight A’s that maybe was a different way that you thought of the experience? And I’m thinking directly, like, as it relates to the body of work that you’ve done in recent years around goal setting, or was it just like, ooh, I really know that I need to do this, and I don’t want to upset grandma, and I’m just going to get it done?        

00:13:51
            

Yeah, I mean, well, it is that, but it’s more than that. I had a real, real important why it was you said it. I didn’t want to upset my grandma. And for me, having that why is the thing that really motivated me to do the work honestly. And even more than that, that was just the spark.        

00:14:14
            

Having the why was the sparkle. But what really got me through it is realizing that I could do it. Having that early win of that first book assignment, the first book report, this first assignment, getting an A and literally realizing I could do it. So even in everything that we do now with Team 212, that’s a big part of with goal setting is sharing your goals, first of all, and then having those early wins. That way, when you have that early, when you share it and you get that feedback of good job because you had that win, you feel like, oh, I could do this, I did that.        

00:14:49
            

And then you stack them and keep going and turn it into a transformation, man. So knowing that we’ve had some of these conversations before, so in this case, were the teachers. I’m curious, were the teachers helpful when you kicked in where you really had your wife for doing the work. You’ve talked before about how you, in some ways, were, like, discouraged. There wasn’t, like, a lot of expectation when you had had the bad grades before, which can have some.        

00:15:20
            

Right. Kind of, like, systemic issues. Right. That you faced within a school system. Was there any, like, shift that you notice in the kind of support that you got or you asked for, or was it more like an internally driven focus that got you to the end goal?        

00:15:38
            

Did notice the difference in the support. But here’s the thing. It was always there, to be honest. Like, looking back in my freshman, sophomore, and junior years, I had really good relationship with my principal and with the cafeteria staff because I worked in the cafeteria my freshman and sophomore year. So I had a good relationship with a lot of people that worked there, and people wanted me to succeed.        

00:16:03
            

I just didn’t believe in myself. And so, you know, what it is, is when you go through. When I look back at even my elementary school days, there were always the teachers that tried to help, and then there were the teachers that didn’t care. And when I didn’t care, I only focused on the teachers that didn’t care. So my mind and my vision and my focus was like, well, those teachers don’t care about me.        

00:16:24
            

But if now that I. Now that I do care about myself and I look back at my. My education, there were people who tried, you know, this. This was a lot of it was on me to make that initiative. What were some of the other milestones like after you did graduate?        

00:16:42
            

Yay. Which is so good. And then what was the path that had some of the milestones? I guess that you look now toward who you are today, which to me, is one of the most, like, deliberate, focused people I have ever met in my life, where you’re so clear about what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, how you asked for help, and then how you help others. What were some of those milestones that kind of got you to where you are today?        

00:17:10
            

Yeah, there were. They all are going to echo this milestone of me believing in myself. But a big one was me getting over my fear of public speaking because, you know, with. With not knowing the language. One of the big things is, early on in my education, I would be speaking to a teacher or students, and midway through my conversation, I would start speaking Spanish.        

00:17:35
            

Like, I’d switch, and then people would just look at me, and they wouldn’t really say anything until the end. And I could see that they’re confused, and it was just. It caused anxiety. And then in. You know, I had a couple of bad experiences with teachers who told me some things about me, just not basically telling me that I just wanted to hear myself talk, because I would talk so much, like, you know, and those things sat with me, and anytime I tried speaking up, I’d hear these voices in my head, and I couldn’t speak up.        

00:18:04
            

And one time I told a coworker about it because I had to. I had a panic attack right before giving a speech, and I had to go to the emergency. Well, it wasn’t the emergency. I think it was the urgent care. Yeah, I had to go to the Urgent Care, and.        

00:18:18
            

And it was a panic attack. And. And then I told the coworker, and he said, why don’t, why don’t you join Toastmasters? And I said, what’s Toastmasters?        

00:18:27
            

Because it sounds like that just the name Toastmaster sounds like you just. They teach you how to make french toast or something, and. That’s right. Yeah. He said, no, they actually.        

00:18:38
            

It’s a systemic desensitization to public speaking. You get up in front of people every week and you speak, and there’s a bunch of different, different ways that they make you aware of your verbal tics, your ums, your ahs, and you have to give speeches in front of the people. So I said, why would I do that? If I’m scared of public speaking?        

00:18:59
            

Why would I decide to do that? And that was kind of the end of that conversation. And I continued to be scared of public speaking, and it actually limited my career. I. There were promotions that I didn’t get because of my fear of public speaking.        

00:19:13
            

And so I finally one day got invited to a meeting, a Toastmasters meeting, and I said, okay, I’m going to give this toastmasters thing a try. And I went, and it was the most terrifying, like, meeting because I had to. All I had to do was just get up in front of everybody and say my name and who invited me. But they were dropping marbles every time I said, um or ah. And it was like this.        

00:19:40
            

Instead of the voice being in my head telling me that, I’m saying, um and ah, it was out here in the real world, giving me that feedback. And I barely even got through that just introduction, and I didn’t come back for months. I said, this is not for me. And then, you know, something kept getting at me, like, you’re still scared of public speaking. This is always going to be a limiting.        

00:20:02
            

A limiting factor. It’s always going to be there. And I decided to just say, okay, I’m going to join. And I joined, and I just paid and started going. And I was terrified every meeting, but I.        

00:20:16
            

And I would feel it in my body. I, like, wanted to go back. And to be honest, sometimes I’d be in tears, like, on my way to toastmasters, because I knew that it was going to be scary, but I just kept going. I just knew, like, if I go back, I’m giving into this, and now I’m accepting the fact that public speaking is something I just don’t do. And after about a year, I finally started feeling comfortable.        

00:20:38
            

And to be honest, though, I was probably at that honeymoon phase where you think you’re comfortable, but you haven’t really been tested. And then the COVID pandemic hit. This was right before that. So the pandemic hit, and this fear that I thought I had overcome just kind of came back and took over again and shut me down for, like, months. I was not, you know, I was not going.        

00:21:09
            

I was not doing a lot of. I was not living my life. That’s the easiest way to say it. And our Toastmasters club stayed on Zoom, so we stayed doing zoom sessions. So at least I knew I could go to Toastmasters, and I’d get up in the morning, and I’d turn on my zoom, and I started noticing that I still felt that same fear, like, this terrifying shake and, like, on the verge of tears before my Zoom meeting.        

00:21:35
            

And I was like, what is this? Like, I’m not even driving anywhere. It’s just a video call. And I leaned in on it. I leaned into it.        

00:21:41
            

I said, okay, well, that means that there’s something here that I need to investigate. And I started learning more public speaking techniques. I started improving my skills and reading about public speaking and practicing and then volunteering for speeches. Anytime somebody didn’t show up, I’d volunteer because I just wanted to get the practice. I wanted to get the reps in.        

00:22:03
            

And while everything was going on in my outside world, all this fear, I was in my inside world confronting that fear every week, week after week. And at the end of that experience, when we came back in person and I started realizing, okay, now I’m not where I was before the pandemic, I feel like I’ve overcome something. I realized that my relationship with fear, that started that first, like, honestly, really, that first day of high, of kindergarten, my relationship with fear was always combative. I was always running from fear or fighting fear or hiding from fear. But then when I started confronting fear, I realized that fear is actually there.        

00:22:48
            

As my friend fear is there to help me, because it’s there to tell me, first of all, what could kill me, right? That’s technically what’s there for survival. But then when I realize that I’m feeling fear at something that isn’t really life threatening, something that’s life threatening, I know that fear is actually pointing me towards the direction of my dreams, because everything that I want to do is being limited by that fear. And when I can feel that fear and then befriend that fear and listen to that fear, and then. So if I’m feeling fear of public speaking, then the answer is, go get some skills, right?        

00:23:26
            

That goes all the way back to getting an f and failing, failing high school. That fear was the motivator, but I was not treating it as my friend. I was treating as an enemy so. Powerful, because that can just shut you down so much. It just ends up becoming more and more and more overwhelming.        

00:23:50
            

Besides what I know, I talked about a lot in Escape From Cubicle Nation especially, it is, as you describe, thinking about the voice of your uncles and just our own internal voice that can come right about fear, it is often the most pointed information to help us understand the direction. So when you just begin to get in dialogue with it, as it sounds like you did, when you’re asking yourself, like, what am I so terrified of? You know, I’m totally afraid that people will mock me and it’ll go back to those uncomfortable situations like I experienced in school, where I’ll be, you know, even more, you know, embarrassed and awkward and humiliated, or whatever those words are. But then it can help to point you, like, what would stop? What would help you not be overwhelmed or to feel like that.        

00:24:40
            

And it sounds like you had this idea of, well, if I practice. If I practice more, if I stay in it, I have those reps. I’m noticing this pattern from early on, when the way that you solve the issue of knowing that you needed to graduate, where you just realized you approached school in a different way, and then you ended up leaning in and getting straight A’s, then recognizing that you had this block, as you described, that were. That held you back from some of your own career goals and just showing up in the world. I think the way that you want to show up, you’re such a curious person.        

00:25:13
            

You have so much to contribute. You’re so fascinated by other people that I can see why you just hiding yourself from sharing your ideas is something that would be a loss for all of us. But in particular from, I think, the goals that you have, were there any other areas that you began to apply this method to in your work? Because I know within the work you do day to day and Team 212, you’re not only working with folks around work stuff, but also other areas of life. Yeah.        

00:25:45
            

So it took me a little bit of time to figure this out because I went hard on my. My business goals, and I really accomplished great things. We were in debt, and then we paid off the debt. We bought a house, and then, you know, I wanted to quit my job, and then I got the skills and I quit my job. So all these business and work related goals were really helpful.        

00:26:06
            

But I noticed that my relationships, specifically my relationship with my kids, it wasn’t growing, and, you know, it wasn’t in a bad spot. Right. That’s one of the things that I kind of tricked myself. It’s like, well, you know, we have a good relationship. Obviously, there’s times where we argue and all that.        

00:26:22
            

It’s normal. But when I realized that my relationships weren’t growing, but my finances were growing or whatever other things were growing, I knew that the long end of that is then that relationship atrophies, because if you don’t use it, you lose it. So I started finding out why it wasn’t, why that was the case. Why is it that I struggle to connect with my son sometimes? Or why is it that he does things that irritate me?        

00:26:49
            

Why? So, like, instead of just going along with it, I questioned it. And you’re right. Yeah. I’m very curious about things.        

00:26:57
            

And I realized that all of the things that bug me are things that I do, first of all. But that bug other people, or other people have told me I bug them. Right. Like, you know, talking too much. Right.        

00:27:12
            

Sometimes. Sometimes people say I talk too much. And I noticed that when my kids were just kind of going on, I would go, oh, like this internal, just, you know, negative, self negative talk about the whole situation. And I. When I realized that that was, again, fear.        

00:27:31
            

And the reason I say fear is because as a kid, you know, you don’t want to get reprimanded for anything. So you. Fear tells you, okay, stop talking, because people are going to say, you’re talking too much. So fear was coming back up, and it was. It was a very different type of fear, but it was fear at its core.        

00:27:47
            

And then since I had this relationship with it in one area, I just had that same type of, I guess, internal conversation of, why am I afraid? And really seeing, like, okay, I’m afraid, you know, for that example, I’m afraid that they’re going to get told by other people to shut up, you know? Yes. I’m afraid that they’re going to, they’re going to feel what I felt. So that made me say, okay, well, if I don’t want them to feel like that, then I need to be here, first of all, to listen to them.        

00:28:14
            

That way they feel heard. And second of all, like, to give them some guidance on how to communicate. Right. Maybe they need some communication advice and in a way that’s loving. So that really led me to make goals around family as important as my goals around my finances and really realize that, like, setting goals to have a deeper relationship with your kids should be as important as setting goals to make money to take care of your kids.        

00:28:48
            

Yeah. So how do you look at it? How do you look at goal setting in general? Because as you described, there’s so many areas of our life, and I know for us both being parents, where you have, you know, you have business, you have family, you have a relationship, you have kids, all these things that you’re focusing on. How do you work with your clients to approach in the biggest picture?        

00:29:16
            

I guess, as you said, like, for, for the approach you take to goal setting, do people set goals in all areas of their life? Initially? Do you start with one area? Like, how does it, how does it work? It depends on the person.        

00:29:30
            

And there’s two different types of clients that I work with. And it usually goes one of two ways. Either they’re very familiar with goal setting and they’re looking for take, to take it to the next level, to take their accountability to the next level and really to see, okay, how do I go reach impossible goals without sacrificing the other areas of my life? And for that, it is really important that you set at least one goal in each category of fitness, finance, family and fundamental, or what I call the fun goal. And I’ll talk about the fun goal in a second.        

00:30:10
            

But first, like, for me, fitness, when I was trying to buy my house, when I was really focused on the finance goals, I said, oh, you know, I could, I need to spend more time on my finances and less time in the gym. So I’m going to cut back on the number of days. Like the, the typical thing that you do is like, well, I’ll just balance it out. But I realized that if I didn’t have it as a goal, it quickly, my fitness, like, slid. So when I, when, when I set up one goal in fitness, one goal in family, one goal one goal in finance and one goal in fun, all areas had my full attention.        

00:30:49
            

Right. Because we actually have an accountability system where if you set goals for the week and you don’t follow through on your action items for that week, then you have to do 50 burpees and pay $50. So there’s consequences to not following through. And I know that if I set a goal for fitness, if I set a goal for family finance and fun, and there’s consequences for all of them, the consequences are the same. I’m going to be just as focused on all of them as I would, you know, I’d be equally focused on all of them.        

00:31:25
            

But the, for me, if you’re just starting out into personal development, if this is something where you’ve, you’ve heard of people setting goals, but it’s, maybe you don’t know if it’s for you, I say pick one category that is, and I, and I think you should pick the category that needs the most attention, because maybe it’s not your finances or your fitness. Maybe it’s, or even your family. Maybe you have all that in order. Maybe you’re not having enough fun. And for me, that’s actually, I was, I was at that point, at one, I was at that, in that stage, at one point where I had all these comic books that I collected and I own and I still bought, but I didn’t have time to read.        

00:32:07
            

I wasn’t making the time to, like, sit down and read them. So I set a goal to read one issue a week, one issue of a comic book a week. And, you know, just having that as something to look forward to, that I knew I had to do it because if I didn’t, I’d have to, you know, face consequences. That helped me balance out everything else. It really, honestly helped me overcome some of the challenges that I had in my career, in my job, because I knew I had to focus on.        

00:32:33
            

So that’s generally how I suggest people work with their goals. That’s really helpful. And you do have a specific point of view. You and I have had so many conversations through the years about, like, thought leadership, which I define as your specific approach, your ideas for how to solve a particular problem, challenge, or aspiration that people have. So in hearing about your method and your approach to goal setting, I know that there is fun.        

00:33:02
            

There’s like, that good, warm, supportive environment that you have when people are working together. And as you said, when you’re declaring together what your goals are so that people can witness it and be aware to give that encouragement for something like burpees or $50 for consequences. For some people, I know, they would be like, oh, that wouldn’t be motivating to me. And I just noticed this through so many decades of working with people. Some people love that they’re like, that would totally motivate me to get things done.        

00:33:31
            

And for other people, it wouldn’t motivate them. Which to me is exactly what you want in business. Right? To be, like, attracting the kind of people who would find that fun, encouraging, enlightening. Cause I hear all day, every day, people who say in a variety of different areas of their life, like, I’ve always wanted to do this thing, but I just can’t stick with it.        

00:33:53
            

And I know sometimes, in my own role as a business coach, I will say it’s my job to be helping you to build your own leadership capacity so you feel better, stronger, more capable. And I find that people often need a specific structure to help them with that accountability and goals. So what, what are, who are ideal clients for Team 212? Okay, I will say this. I am probably like, if you were to ask me five years ago, actually go back to the guy who asked me to join Toastmasters because I had an issue with public speaking, I said, why would I do that?        

00:34:35
            

Would be going into the thing I don’t want to do. So if you were to ask me back then, do you want to do this thing where you have to set goals and you have to tell other people what your goals are, and then afterwards, if you don’t do what you said you’re going to do, then you owe consequences to them? I would say, that’s. Get out of here. That’s ridiculous.        

00:34:56
            

First of all, stop talking to me. Second of all, is that even legal?        

00:35:03
            

I think that’s my first instinct. And to be honest, when I first heard about the idea of an accountability group, I turned that down. Somebody asked me, hey, we’ve got an accountability group. And I said, no. And that was during the 2020 pandemic.        

00:35:17
            

And I. Right before, actually, before. I’m sorry, before the pandemic. And I remember that, like I said, during that time, I froze up completely, and I let go of all my goals. I just stopped that.        

00:35:29
            

2020 was my year. I set all these goals, and then the pandemic hit, and I said, screw it. There’s other things to do. And then the one of my friends who actually joined an accountability group, I saw him, and he had continued with his goals, and actually, it was one of his most successful years in his family. And in his finances.        

00:35:49
            

And he was able to the following year, because of all the success he had, take some time off to spend with his family. He took a couple of months off. And I realized that I spent that time worried about things that I had no control over, but the things that I had full control over, I was just excusing myself as well. I don’t need to do that right now. But the reality is that there were consequences for that, for inaction.        

00:36:20
            

And you asked me, who is this for? I think it’s for anybody who wants to know about those consequences before they actually affect their life. Because those burpees and that $50, it’s just a reminder that you’re not taking the action that you need to be taking. And if you want to know about that before it actually affects your life down the line, when you haven’t been doing your fitness routine or you haven’t been following your diet, then this is the best way to do that. Yeah.        

00:36:53
            

Because it is the most challenging thing when there are big goals that people have or trying to balance everything all the time, that in the moment you don’t, you don’t notice in the week, two weeks, three weeks, four weeks, often you don’t really begin to see it. It’s one of those, like the long term consequences, as you said, of taking your eye off the ball. It’s what you’ve heard me say many times around Tiny Marketing Actions is often you don’t notice that it’s something we can just let go easily. We’re like, I’m just really busy right now with client stuff, or I can’t really focus on marketing. And then it comes to that moment where you haven’t done it, you haven’t planted any seeds, sometimes for many, many months, and then all of a sudden you have this urgent need to be driving business.        

00:37:38
            

And that’s when it doesn’t work. And I see that in every aspect of life, right, you have an opportunity where you need to have money ready to go for it. And if you haven’t been taking, in some ways, your tiny financial actions, right, or your tiny fitness actions, it’s just breaking things down, I think, on a week to week basis. And I do love it. I think it’s why in the professional services world, it’s so helpful for us to have different examples and different models, because people can find exactly that kind of structure that’s going to be helpful for them, you know?        

00:38:10
            

And if that doesn’t resonate with people, if they don’t want to have any, like, very tactical, tangible consequence, then they can be like, working with other ways. But what, what are some of the results? I guess that you’ve seen what some of the impact of, like, working with other people. We’ve heard about your own story, but when people are participating in Team 212 programs, like, what happens? What have you witnessed also?        

00:38:37
            

I want to answer that question, but I want to go back to what you said about the people who, when you, when you think about what motivates you for some people just sharing your goal and then later saying, hey, I didn’t accomplish it, that is worse than having to do 50 burpees or pay $50. So I actually think when you think about the structure and the format of your accountability, you really have to know yourself and know what really motivates you. And I don’t think, I don’t think $50 and 50 burpees is the best consequence for everyone. But I do think that having a consequence, whether it’s literally just telling your partner, your accountability partner, hey, I didn’t do it. That is a consequence.        

00:39:30
            

And I just wanted to clarify that, to me, everybody can benefit from some type of immediate consequence. It does not have to be painful. I mean, I think we make things painful that necessarily aren’t painful. Like, right. Me sharing with my team that I didn’t hit my goal, that that can, I can make that painful, but it doesn’t have to be painful.        

00:39:51
            

It just has to be real for me to acknowledge it. But I agree. Not everybody. 50 burpees and $50, that’s not for everybody at all, for sure. I just think that that’s part of it.        

00:40:03
            

And when you ask me about what people have accomplished, one of the biggest examples I think about is Marcus, one of our members who’s been, he’s been with us for two years. And when he first joined the team, I asked him what his big goal was, and he said he wanted to be ready to be a father. And he was like, I know that I got to read these baby books. I know I got to do this, that and the other. And financially, I got to get this saved and stuff.        

00:40:31
            

So that was his goal and everything around it really was structuring. Like, hey, what are you going to do when the baby comes? So he started setting, like, on a weekly basis, like, I’m going to do the dishes. I’m going to make sure the dishes are done or I’m going to, I forget some of the other ones. But then that, that goal, that specific doing the dishes goal, then somebody else picked that up and said, hey, I’m going to take that goal on.        

00:40:53
            

I’m going to start doing the dishes once a week because I think that could help in, in my issue. And, you know, that reverberation of goals is, I think, the biggest success where we see somebody else going for a goal that maybe we thought of, but maybe we thought it was silly and now we do it. One example is sleeping. For me, my fitness has been really good, but my sleeping has been bad. And I had to set a goal to sleep at least 7 hours a night, four times a week.        

00:41:25
            

And I did that and I started doing that. And then another member, Brian, he saw my goals and said, hey, I want to do that. And now this week he put five times. So he’s one upping, two upping me like that. In my mind, that’s the biggest successes when we, when those goals are infectious.        

00:41:42
            

Somebody had a goal to have six pack abs and now we have three different people who have six pack ab goals. And it’s just, it’s just this thing that carries on. And I just love that part of it. I love it how it is going to be unique to people, as you said, and depending on the level of physicality, right. It goes without saying that, you know, if somebody physically is not able to, you know, to do like any one of the consequences, or maybe, you know, maybe it would be $5 for somebody, you know, like for a consequence based on their own situation.        

00:42:13
            

But to see how each of you are helping each other, to clarify, and I love that example. It’s such a beautiful thing I think of for a father to be, to like, be so deliberate, to take time. It’s a beautiful example of how I don’t think most people tend to approach life that way, to be very deliberately taking action. And it does feed with me with a lot of the earlier story. As you said, we can just walk through life afraid of everything, like wanting things in our life, but afraid about what’s going to happen, as opposed to figuring out exactly how we can get better prepared for these situations and be in a better situation.        

00:42:53
            

So how do people find out more about what you all do at Team 212 and get in contact with you? So one of the things that we have is a Vision Setting Seven Day Course. So if you go to my team two one two.com Pam, you can download them. Or you can sign up to get the seven day vision setting course we have. It’s basically a 90 minute workshop that we do to get clear on your vision and we split that up into seven days where you build on itself.        

00:43:23
            

You could technically do the whole course in one sitting if you wanted to. And it really helps you understand. First of all, we all want to know where we’re at, right? Understanding where you’re at, but then getting a clear vision of, like, your future self. When you think about your future self, what does that person do on a daily basis that’s different than what you’re currently doing?        

00:43:47
            

Because your future self has already accomplished your goals. And I learned this from our mutual friend, Dr. Ben Hardy. He has a book called Be Your Future Self Now, and he talks about how your future self has actually already accomplished these goals. And if you then can connect with your future self, get really connected with your future self, and see what are they doing differently, that helps you get some clarity on what you should be doing now. That’s so helpful.        

00:44:14
            

I have now started calling at the time that we’re recording. This conversation is about mid November in 2023. But I’m thinking forward about the new year and everything that 2023 has been as a year. It’s been a challenging year for a lot of people. It’s just been harder to make business happen, and it’s been unexpectedly difficult is what I found for a lot of folks that I work with and for me personally in some ways as well.        

00:44:40
            

And so I’m thinking about 2024 as like a year of just deliberate focus of, in order for us to, as you’re describing, like, really to be dialed in in a thoughtful way for what we want for our lives. I think we need to take some time to really go through that vision setting process and just to be very deliberate about what we want. It’s not. Sometimes things just happen. You just kind of go through life and everything falls into place.        

00:45:06
            

And I’m finding that for folks who are really successfully navigating this time, that’s a bit more challenging. Let’s say on the economic side, it’s been because they’ve really taken the time to think about exactly what is that work they wanna do, who do they wanna work with, how do they wanna show up? And then it ends up reverberating in different parts of life as well. I think about it a lot as a longtime martial artist. I love to work out, I love to do different activities, but I find that if I don’t have any deliberate path, it will literally never happen.        

00:45:42
            

But if I, let’s say, I say, you know, I want to move more, I want to dance more in 2024, and I take the time to make sure that maybe at least once a week I might be going to a new dance class, that I’m likely to really stick with that when I know that it’s something that’s concrete. So I guess it’s mini accountability for me saying, I do want to move more in 2024. I want to have more fun and to dance more. So that’s an example of, like, what I want to bring, bring forward with, with deliberate focus. I, um.        

00:46:12
            

I’m going to ask you maybe once a month, maybe I’ll put myself a little reminder once a month you’re dancing more and what you’re doing specifically, because I actually think right now you just shared that with everybody. So that’s one way of. That’s an accountability step, and I think that’s important. Yeah. So when other people hear it, then they kind of say, hey, are you dancing more?        

00:46:29
            

And then we hold you accountable. I love that. And I do that. I do really well with public accountability. It’s the thing.        

00:46:36
            

I noticed that if I really do want some something, it’s where generally, I might talk about it in social media or more on my newsletter or on my podcast now, because it does help me there. I don’t know if you’ve ever done Gretchen Rubin has her book The Four Tendencies, and I think she has an assessment for it. I need to go to the site and take it again. Cause I always forget the categories. But I know that I am extremely motivated when I care about other, like the impact on other people or where I have made a promise to other people.        

00:47:08
            

I am much more likely to do it rather than like my sister or my best friend Desiree, who are, or my husband Daryl, who are all extremely self motivated. So if they just say to themselves they want to do something, they will 100% do it. That is not the case with me. So that can be another nuance of, like, knowing how you’re motivated. Yeah.        

00:47:29
            

I’ve done Gretchen Rubin’s test, and mine was the internally motivated. I forget what the name is, too. And then Crystal, my wife, she’s the rebel, so it’s kind of hard to work with the rebels. Yes. I feel like I have a lot of rebel in me as well.        

00:47:42
            

Yeah, I could. If somebody. If Daryl, my husband, ever tells me to do something or you should do this, then I’ll do the opposite. I’ll totally run the other direction. But if it’s my idea, I’m likely to do it, so.        

00:47:53
            

Well. I so appreciate sharing your own story and your journey. It’s so wonderful for you to be in my community and in my life and in my extended family. And I really do see the service that you and Team 212 provide as something that’s really complimentary to people who might be doing other deeper work with a business coach or with somebody else where kind of like toastmasters for I know a lot of folks are familiar with that. It’s like a way you can really have this very supportive, loving community of people who will help you deliberately to reach goals.        

00:48:27
            

And having that external accountability can be really helpful. Yeah. And the part you said about support, and that is exactly what the community is, the support community. We are there to hold you accountable, but to support, I appreciate it. Well, as Hugo aka Ugo was saying, you can find him at Myteam one two.com.        

00:48:51
            

For those of you who are listening, you can check out the show notes. We will have links there at pamelaslim.com. And I want to thank my 31 Marketplace production team, La’Vista Jones, Tanika Lothery, Jose Arboleda and our award winning show narrator, Andia Winslow. Until next time, be sure to subscribe and rate the show. And continuing getting inspiration to help grow your world changing work at scale.

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